Saturday, June 30, 2007

I Suck

At interviews that is.

How does one go from puffed up chest in power suit to a stuttering log of turd in 5 mins? I have such an innate knack for pulling that off.

How I got all my jobs has got to be by pure dumb luck OR they were desperate OR they thought 'special' kids deserve a chance in life too.

I think I might be unemployed for a while ...

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Net Withdrawal

My broadband decided to die on me for a couple of days.

Do they not know the repercussions of taking away what has become my sustenance?

Even people in rehab get weaned off their substances and have their twelve-step programs to work through recovery and sponsors to call when they feel like they're losing the plot.

I got no twelve-step program, no sympathy and a rather harrowing experience with Screwmyx's 'technical support' assistance.

I wanted to punch out the doors, chomp on computer cables, throw a chair out the window and stomp on little furry animals to ease the jitters and cold sweats.

Thank god for ice-cream and chocolates.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Protecting Myself

Am finding some rather geeky ways to protect the posts I don't want the world to see ... teehee

Decode it

Saturday, June 16, 2007


Can't seem to stay asleep these days - eyes wide open kind of sleeplessness.

While everyone drifts off to slumberland, my weary body stuck is with a head doing mental gymnastics.

Sometimes I think about my day - "I should have done that" or "Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that apple crumble" - to what I should do with my time tomorrow - finally finishing that book or having coffee with a friend.

And then I almost always find myself thinking about 1 or more of these 3 things:

1. Food
2. Death
3. Not-so-friendly monsters lurking under my bed

The top chef in me dreams about whipping up chocolate brownies in our new oven and cooking up a pasta storm. And then deluded enough to think that everyone will be falling all over themselves trying to get copies of my fabulous secret recipe.

And then sometimes I strangely think about mortality - mine and everyone else's. Maybe not so much the death part since death is pretty much a given the moment you are born. It's the how and when - shot by a crazed gunman while valiantly protecting an innocent or get my neck slashed by some random shard of glass ... yes, I'm morbid that way.

I also stupidly think about spectres and ghouls and souls with unfinished business at the most unsavoury of times. Why oh why do I do this to myself?! And it's usually at this point where my bladder starts overworking and I daren't make that journey to the bathroom for fear of meeting any unfriendly creatures of the night.

Then when I finally convince myself that I'm stupid and summon the courage to go, I silently remind myself not to respond if I hear my name being called or suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder or look in the mirror for fear of catching a reflection of some ... thing.

But remember, I am stupid ... and vain - so I look in the mirror. And there she was, a face white as sheet with hollow lifeless eyes, grey bloodless lips and hair in violent tangles.

So this is how insomniacs look like huh? I need sleep.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

I Have An Owie

** Warning distressing pictures ahead. Scroll at your own risk**


Look what my super human reflexes got me into ...

uh-huh that's right

ow ow ow!

How on earth was I supposed to know that blurry blue thing falling from its holder was a shaver with unprotected blades?! Who puts unprotected shavers on shaky holders?!

Apparently my mother does ...

Now I have a real REASON not to wash up, clean the floors or cook .... oh the pain!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

No You Don't!

No, you do NOT get to tell us how we choose to spend our money or how we make our own personal choices.

No, you do NOT get to tell us that we could have been more prudent and it will be to our detriment when you assume that you know everything that goes on in our lives.

We have never asked you for anything and YOU HAVE. And yet you sit high up on your throne audaciously lecturing us about our choices and our lives when you have yet to set an example for the rest of us.

Do you think somehow by being our predecessor gives you the priviledge of superiority over us? And we should throw in our towels and submit to your demands and your rationale?

We know you love your power trips and your constant name dropping. Well, I for one will not "oohh" and "ahhh" over who you know or what they can do or even think "Wow! He is a really powerful man!".

I keep my cool in front of you because my parents taught me manners and I smile and nod at your never ending audacities because of the respect I have for my partner.

But do not treat us like silly children if you do not want us to treat you like an arrogant prick.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Idiot Box

I've become a full time couch potato and a web addict.

I need to get out more ...

let sleeping dogs lie

My New Look

Well, it's about time for a new blog facelift.

Here it is in all it's glory!

Friday, June 01, 2007

My Big Break

I guess being a lady of leisure isn't all it's cracked up to be.

My brains have turned into mush

Reflexes have delayed

My arse seems bigger

Depleting bank balance

I can't believe I'm saying this - I'm dying for a job *gasp*