Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I Don't Like Mondeys

Stupid people drive me nuts. The world is never short of stupid heads.

I can tolerate a whole lotta of crap but stupid heads love to test my limits.

How much do I have to dumb things down?

I've said the same thing in a million different ways and doodled stick men and you still don't get it!

And you tell me my approach is wrong.

And and AND you have the cheek to double check everything I say when YOUR knowledge of everything is questionable!

Someone please find a cure for the stupids!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Candy Floss

My head feels like it's been stuffed with cotton balls.

Neurons struggling to weave their way through white fluff masquerading as grey matter.

Reality lost in translation. Lucidity eludes. Maddening hysteria envelopes.

Hello ... is anyone home?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

A Serving Of Life

When did we all change? No time to laugh no time to stop and smell the roses.

Suddenly, life IS work. And when did work become so depressing? I guess there's a reason why it's called work.

What about family? friends? art? culture? fresh air and sunshine? summer fruits and winter warmers?


Balance is everything ...

Friday, September 28, 2007

5 Means I Love You

You're not just anyone. You're The One ...

Happy Anniversary, darl!

P/S: Where's the pedicure you promised me?

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Ugly Betty Syndrome

Starting a new job is pretty daunting.

Sort of like starting in a new school ... in the middle of a school term ... as a teenager ... and as if that is not a screamorama in itself - in geeky glasses, braces and full blown acne.

"Boys and girls, please welcome your new friend, TheDreamer." ...... *ducks flying toilet roll*

But instead of blockhead jocks and airhead bimbos I have power suit donning, stiletto heeled office bitches to deal with.

Repeat after me ... I am an attractive, intelligent, confident businesswoman!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

What Did I Come In Here For?

At what point do you go "This isn't right. This has got to stop."?

At what point do you stop denying there is a problem and bury it behind a joke like you always do?

First a memory of a classmate you've never really gotten to know and then you dismiss it and tell yourself - "Wasn't a big part of my life. No big deal".

And then whole chunks start to disappear and you start making stuff up to fill the void.

I have a memory problem. Lately not just the forget-your-keys kind. The what-did-I-say-a-moment-ago? kind. The memory-like-a-sieve kind.

Soon I'll have to scribble everything down in a grubby old notebook and wear a sign that has my address on it in case I get lost on the streets.

I fear the day I wake up and look into the mirror and see the reflection of a toothless Crypt Keeper and scream in horror upon realising that it's me - "But I was only 25 yesterday!!!". And then I'd have a video play back the highlights of my life like they did for Lucy back in 50 First Dates only I'm not kissing the man of my dreams but locked up in an institution.

Ok so I might be a little young to be considered for early onset Alzheimer's but still the amount I forget is frightening!

Gingko biloba! Pronto!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


D-Day is fast approaching and the days of freedom are quickly coming to an end.

I've sold my soul and bade farewell to my couch potato self.

That's right. I'm a grown up and I'm joining the troops in the real world.

Goodbye social life.

Hello office drone.

Au revoir liberté!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Hocus Pocus

I L-O-V-E Witchery!

Classic lines, sophisticated and takes on the latest fashion trends without making you look like a total fashion douche .... what's not to love?

This season they have the cutest, girliest pieces ever!!

Lookie here!

How pretty are they? I wish they ship internationally for nothing!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Resolutions Recap

Having taken such a long break I've become a major couch potato, a fact my mother can attest to. I've watched countless movies and tv dramas (back to back episodes), read a million blogs and surfed for hundreds of hours to fill my lazy days.

I've taken the liberty to do a little stocktake of my life since it sounds a lot better than cleaning the floors or doing the laundry and maybe find out if I've achieved anything so far - I have a slight inkling that my 8 month old nephew has more to show than myself.

Firstly, let it be known that I am really not THAT lazy or that big a sloth ... ok with that disclaimer I think it's pretty clear now how well my 2007 resolutions really went.

1. Be Nice - Not so much the delicate oriental flower that I had hoped to be but I reckon I've done pretty alright. I haven't been throwing hissy fits or tantrums unless you count the time my internet connection was taken away from me.

2. Be A Literary Snob - wow I think I did really well here. While I could count all the books I've read last year on 1 hand and still have a couple of fingers left over, I can proudly say I can use up all of the fingers in one hand this time! *pats self on back*

3. Buy Less Trashy Mags - Seriously, I'm actually doing really well! Because of my non-existant income at this point in time, trashy mags have not been bought but shamelessly read at the bookstores. Talk about being economical! *high five!*

4. Be Brave - um ... due to lack of employment I can't say very much about this apart from the fact that I've yet to master interviews.

5. Be A Gym Junkie - omg FAIL! I've gone on reverse gear and become the biggest couch potato ever.

6. Save $$$ - ok, I suppose I'm doing pretty well considering I've had no income for the past couple of months I've been forced to save. Otherwise, I'm sure I'll be blowing all my cash on shoes.

7. Be a Domestic Goddess - emm no comment.

8. Be The Best Goddamn Aunty In The World - if my NephewChubbyCheeks can talk right now he'd tell you I'm the best ... muahahahaha

9. Be A Style Guru - pffttt ... why did I even put this on my list!? I'm fabulous either way!

10. Enjoy Life - I'm grateful for the people and the things that I have in my life. Life is good .... but someone hire me please?

I did ok didn't I?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Stressed Bunny

Sure. I get it.

Working in Asia is nothing like how they work in Australia.

Yes, I know. No overtime pay but plenty of overtime. Third world wages and next to nothing social security. Slave drivers are your bosses and back stabbers your peers.

I totally get it.

Can I take it? Sure, I can take it like your mother can.

I'm prepared for the onslaught. Just be gentle ok?